Blood Time Sex - Journal Entry
He caresses me from behind. One hand and arm holding my breasts and the other hand on my womb. We fall asleep together…When I bleed I completely surrender. When we wake up I look into his eyes and call him to merge with me deeply.
There is a falling of the veil between my more conscious and logically aware self and my more intuitive, emotionally intelligent self. If I have been honest with myself enough and then honest with how I have been feeling with him, there is a deep place of nourishing, peaceful sanctuary that opens in my heart. I want him to crawl inside that cave with me, to become nourished as well.
I feel primal and wild like a snow leopard, feral and throbbing with life force energy. I invite him inside. First to the cave of my inner worlds, I stare into his eyes and devour his entire being. We deeply and passionately kiss one another as if we are consuming every last drop of a the most delicious melting ice cream cone inside each other’s mouths. I beckon him to kiss my neck and suckle from my breast and spread my legs cautiously to allow him to dip into my crimson river. It is sensitive and sacred sacred to me.
My primal, raw, sensual, dominant yet still surrendered aspects come out when he penetrates me while I am bleeding. Not primal in a violent or over-theatrical way that we often see from sex scenes in Hollywood movies but deeply hyper-aware, the awareness that a female lion utilizes to hunt a gazelle as she crouches in the high grasses waiting for the perfect time to pounce on her prey. This type of wild primal nature. It is the deep belly of creation, of Earth Mama, Mother Gaia’s womb medicine. I can hear the rattle and the soft drumming as I rhythmically grind my sweet flesh and blood against his body. It is raw and deeply sacred because I will only show him, I will only let him enter those gates.
When I am bleeding there is a myriad of hypersensitivity inside my body, first my psychic awareness is much higher, my emotional sensitivity is heightened and when given space to be honored I turn from a wounded animal to a sweet and hungry mother. Wanting to have tender and power-filled moments with spirit and with my lover.
Not every woman is going to feel open during her bleed. Specifically for two reasons: she will either feel like she has not been able to express herself fully so she shuts down that inner world to any outsider to protect it’s sensitive nature or for the fear that she will not be seen, honored or even worse that she will be rejected in such a vulnerable state. She will not get to know her own power without the safe space to come to know it first.
In my not so far off past this was also the case, I never had the space and acceptance, let alone the understanding of my blood time to want to share it with anyone. But while living in New Zealand in 2015 where there are more sheep than people, I was able to live in very wild parts of the country where for example. I would feel my bleed coming on as the moon was setting and I would walk out onto the Earth to let my first shed fall onto the Earth to create a connection with the Great Mother Gaia to get to know the great mother within me. I started to become more aware of the energy and power behind my blood time.
It is one thing to become connected to your own cycle and a completely different level to start to share that space intimately with your partner. It is always an interesting process to unfold sexually since I always find that my vaginal walls, my cervix becomes extremely raw, hyper-sentivity to any sensation. Regular sexual experiences do not feel like the multi-dimensional space that I get to explore with blood-time love-making. At first everything must be approached with the utmost reverence, sensitivity and moving in synchronicity with one another. Then once I have opened to him fully, my primal lioness comes forth. I feel I can take him in deeper, we can transgress world that are not accessible when I am not bleeding.
If women utilize their menstrual cycles as teachers by instead of fighting and denying the body what it needs but pure listening there is a deep wisdom that starts to develop. Then if Men witness and honor a woman when she is in her most raw state, as she bleeds. We must rest in order to be sustainably productive. He too can learn the rhythms of how to gain more life force by listening to the ebb and flow of the body.
THE PHASES OF A WOMAN’S CYCLE THROUGHOUT THE MONTH ARE LIKE THE PHASES OF THE MOON
Women have many faces as menstruating creatures, the oscillation of hormones causes them to transform into their three alter-egos. The ancient Druid Priestess would say four to be exact.
The Crone - This is the aspect we see when we bleed. The woman filled with wisdom and deep inner knowing. If you deeply listen and honor your blood-time this woman will become stronger and stronger within you. It is not the strength that dominates but the strength in the grace and natural power in nature. Soft yet strong.
The Maiden - The aspect after our bleed has ended. This woman is sweet and fresh like the newly blossoming flowers of spring. She is ready to take start receiving creative ideas and taking on the world again! It is a powerful time to connect with creative projects or seeds you are wanting to come into fullness during your ovulation time when you have the hormones for deep clear insight and energy to bring your dreams to life!
The Mother - This aspect of our personalities we see come out to play during the week we are ovulating. It is our wild full moon, fully exposed to the world state. You are in your most fertile state and feeling magnetic as if any part of creation can become drawn into your field just by your desire of it! It is a powerful time to reap and harvest what you would like.
The Mage or Mystic (The Seer) - This time is the week before your bleed. Most Men and women dread this time but with proper understand and alchemy this time becomes your most valuable asset. The time right before you start your menstruation is when you are coming to face all of the aspects from the previous cycle that you have not been honest with yourself your partner. The hormones in your system are dropping and creating a harsh shaking and waking to realities that have been otherwise ignored previously in the month. If you listen to this with compassion and an open heart and try to communicate your needs with others at this time. Pre-menstruation time can become your greatest time of connecting to the unseen part of yourself and your life. But it must be alchemized with great care.
Take time to be with each of these women and if you are a man reading this time time to get to know the phases that your woman eclipses and pass through. When she is able to feel safe with you by you honoring her cycle you will eventually get to see sides of she has never shown another human being. It is the greatest gift you can give a woman in my belief.
I was so touched by my blood-time this time around that I thought I would write to each of you to invite you into my inner worlds. Wishing you all the best in whatever phase you are in.
Many blessings to you and yours.