I grew up in a poor neighborhood in a small town in North Carolina until I was around nine years old. My dad created his own construction company and worked so hard that by the time the economy boom happened in the mid-nineties my family was living in a high end neighborhood.
My family was religious, Christian and I attended private Christian school from elementary school until I was ten. I felt this constant connection to God, to Jesus, to the Holy Spirit, not what the church described these as but my personal relationship to spirit that I sensed subtly humming in everything around me, including in my heart.
My Mom was such a huge part of my evolution, she only allowed an hour of tv a day and had me play outside among the energies of nature often. She also taught me that you only make love with someone you are in love with because your body is sacred.
Because of the housing economy crash my Dad went bankrupt and my parents soon divorced when I was fourteen in 2002. My parent’s separation made me feel I had to choose between my parents. I moved in with my mom and lost communication with my father. He lived in a nearby neighborhood yet we rarely reached out to one another.
I started to believe that my dad didn’t care about me, of course this wasn't the case but I was convinced. I think this belief was the main contribution to starting to have this inner yearning to be valuable to a man.
I used to have this deep yearning to be desirable to any and every man possible and on a deeper level for when I was in a man’s presence that I would create healing for him. At the age of fourteen, with a combination, I started receiving information through my own research into tantra, internal intuition and dreams with angels I started to cultivate inner feminine essence to connect with a man.
We moved to New York in the middle of Winter. A complete contrast to what I was used to, normally surrounded by warm smiling southern faces, suddenly I was a number in a cold crowd of thousands trying to find their significance through societal standards. I knew no one except for my boyfriend at the time and all of his friends. My boyfriend had started becoming mentally and physically abusive daily.
At that time, my mom was suffering from a deep depression, understandable remnants of the divorce and my dad was dedicating a large part of his time and money to heal my step sister’s wound from her own abusive relationship that caused an almost fatal stroke leaving the left side of her body paralyzed.
I felt I had nowhere to go.
I really believed I had no choice but to stay in my current situation and even though my boyfriend treated me terrible, I wanted to believe that he would heal. I thought he was the only one, my soul mate and that I would never be able to find another like him again.
I started feeling the God-self within, as the creator wove together this perfect being within my womb. At the age of 20, I gave birth to a beautiful baby boy in 2008, my son Kane with Down Syndrome. We didn't know he had Down's until he was born, although that wouldn't have changed my decision to keep him.
He was and is to this day my angel. He was to teach me about what true unconditional love is. He changed my life forever.
One night in the Fall of 2008, I went to sleep at a friend’s house to sleep in peace. That night I found out he had cheated on me with one of my dearest friends. The next day he threatened to kill me in a blind rage, while high on drugs and in this anger, he tired himself so much that he passed out from sedation from the mystery combination of drugs. I packed a bag and drove away in the night never to look back again. I moved in with my mother, she allowed support so I could take a year and a half to heal.
I felt numb inside and struggled with PTSD, while raising a newborn with special needs all by myself. I remember being puzzled, where was I going to find the love? There was no one who loved me but my mom and my son, I ached for a partner to raise my son with me. I longed for my divine counterpart and yet there was a divine reasoning. For my son to be able to have a mother who was loving, she would have to, I would have to, start finding the love within. I started writing positive affirmations in my journal and repeating them daily.
I had trouble all throughout high-school, none of the subjects could keep my attention with the exception of theatre class and the arts. By the time I had reached the age of seventeen, I had had enough of what seemed like a broken system with no truly enriching education. I cared about my relationship to others. I was always missing the information that mattered most to me: "How do I truly create sustainable happiness in your life?"
In 2005, I dropped out of school, packed a bag and spontaneously moved to New York City with my rebellious stunt double boyfriend to start pursuing my dream of becoming an actress.
In 2007, after sleeping a night on the streets of the “Big Apple”, I found out I was pregnant.
I was homeless, emotionally broken and felt completely empty with the exception of this tiny being growing in my belly.
The pregnancy was difficult to say the least, my partner was hiding a drug addiction. I would go days at a time without eating and was underweight for the first half of the pregnancy. To give you an idea of our lack of connection, he had an aversion to me being pregnant and never intentionally touched my belly even once throughout the entire pregnancy. Although this a very emotionally and physically testing time of my life, it seemed the angels were with me. This was the start of my inner awakening as Kane my gorgeous son’s life essence was being poured into my body.
The one prayer I said throughout the pregnancy had been answered, " Please God, give me a healthy baby." Kane was born healthy against all odds with the exception that he was not able to keep his temperature, he was hospitalized for three months. The hospital was an hour away from our house. I was driving every day there and back to see my son because I didn’t have the money to stay in a hotel near the hospital. Kane had a hole in his soft palate and could not latch, I was breast pumping in between each visit because my son could not breastfeed. I felt so far away from this little being that had been a part of me for nine months in all ways, spiritually, emotionally, and physically. In the day I was struggling just to connect with my son and every night staying at home with this nightmare of a man who was becoming more and more abusive.
In 2010, chosen out of a group interview from ten other candidates, I started working for a Chiropractor at a wellness center as his assistant. I was responsible for gathering patient histories, we saw two hundred and fifty patients a day. Part of the job was to gather people’s mental, emotional, and chemical stresses; this is when I started seeing that thoughts affect the body. I started to take care of myself physically and research holistic health. I received my 200 hour yoga teacher certification, I began to heal my body through nutrition and emotionally open my heart again.I began to meditate and visualize what I wanted to manifest in my life with daily focus and intention.
I lived a very simple life of Earthly service. I wanted to know all about the human body and how to heal it with the medicinal plants of the this realm. I learned about how to take care of the body through nutritional food, shadowed under two different herbalist and spent most of my time meditating while tending gardens. Spirit also wanted to show my that not all people can be healed from nature’s bounty, my partner at the time was had two kidney transplants and so I was helpless as to healing him with any natural means. This ignited my curiosity as to constantly asking the question, “What could help him?” I started studying esoteric sciences.
In 2013, while looking around on Facebook I found this amazing event called “The Global Meditation” with 25,000 people attending from around the world. After a vision I decided to contact the organizer and stepped into becoming the meditation leader online.
At that moment my life completely changed, I shifted my career and purpose path to serve the planet with my unique inner gifts and intuition. I kept networking online, holding daily visualization practices, organizing meditations, as well as hosting them and started writing for blogs like Earth, we are one and Spirit Science.
The information I had started sharing from my meditations, from my intuitive center and purpose path started going “viral” and my Facebook inbox starting flooding with people who had questions they wanted me to answer. I decided to start helping guide others to their own inner source of higher intelligence through one on one coaching.
I moved to New Zealand in Spring 2014, I lived in "Aotearoa" for two years and a half years, within that time I watched as my partner at the time's mother withered away from ovarian cancer. My heart will forever be with the woman who exampled so much of the true strength of a woman. The power and bittersweet nature of a woman’s devotion has for healing the masculine on this planet. Assisting her into the spirit realm was one of the most transforming experiences of my life.
Because of the family constellation trauma which I can not go into, my partner at the time and I had decided to separate. I found myself traveling across New Zealand with what felt like a hole in my heart to visit a dear brother and friend to take refuge at his house in the beautiful countryside of this wild untamed farm.
Rune Lekkerkerker was visiting to attend a chi-gong conference. Rune had been a studied practitioner and healer, for 15 years he had undergone high intensity training of Martial Arts, Qigong and Esoteric Training. After a 5 year study in Traditional Chinese Medicine he also became a fully licensed Acupuncturist. Which in the years after, specialised in ‘Ben Shen’; a deep study into human psychology. He was becoming a certified Qigong expert and therapist after a 5 year intensive teachers training in New Zealand by world-renowned grandmaster Yuan Tze. He is now a Qigong and Esoteric Coach.
When we met it was like finally meeting someone who saw through the same eyes as me, I had never experienced this before. He understands the way emotions affect matter in a very dynamic way, he understood the wisdom of the womb, and he could feel the way that the fabric of creation moved in all things. For the first time since my first love (the man who gave me my child, Kane), I felt a compelling fire ignite in the core of my entire being, a deep returning to my essence and soul purpose remembrance.
I started working deeply and exclusively with him, who I felt was my soul-mate, my genetic equal and soon to be partner at that time. We worked together for six months straight in the gorgeous New Zealand wilderness, in a tiny shack on this farm. Doing powerful work together; de-armoring my yoni-my womb; releasing emotional, spiritual and physical trauma that had been stored unconsciously. For these precious six months straight, I dedicated myself to understanding my inner landscape. I had felt I had found my home.
Rune and I decided to move to the States together, in January of 2017. During that trip I had a vision from my guides.
I saw the planetary grid being ignited, vortexes pulsing, electromagnetic surges dancing across our ozone layer and grounding into Earth’s atmosphere and humanity itself. I started planning The Lion’s Gate Global Meditation and in a dream the first person who came to me about this project collaboration was Bentinho Massaro, a spiritual teacher of non-duality.
I met Bentinho after he became interested in a project I had presented him, through a series of events, he invited me to his house to hear about "The Lion's Gate" Meditation I had created in May of 2017.
I could feel the magnetism between us, I knew we had information to exchange with one another but I made the mistake of believing that this information was to be shared through romantic relationship with him, that was my mind’s first interpretation. I think intuitively I knew that the easiest way to transfer this information was through sexual energy transfer but the energies have to be perfectly aligned through the heart for that to happen completely.
That was one thing that was missing, I cared for Bentinho deeply, I cared for his mission but I had not fallen in love with Bentinho. My beloved was Rune, he was who my heart was with. The most sacred energy in this realm had been fallen to the void.
In June of 2017 Bentinho invited me to go to Europe with him to the No Mind Festival in Sweden, to his speaking event in London and to the Baarlo Retreat in the Netherlands.
You can read a narration from his experience in his blog, The Ultimate Marriage - My 'proposal' to a woman as the Infinite
At the No Mind Festival we spoke together for the first time, he also invited me on stage in Baarlo where I imparted the "Mary Magdalene Codes" collective healing and went on in August 2017 to co-create and hold The Lion’s Gate Retreat in Sedona. It was here where my deeper life-purpose codes where further catalyzed, I saw the missions from my previous and future lives became illuminated. I felt my soul's gifts being connected to and shifting from being a guide simply for people who were empaths and extra-sensitives to healing the sexual misery programming on this planet.
After Baarlo, I started to see the relevance of Bentinho and Allison’s connection still, Bentinho and I decided that we would open to Allison coming into the union and ask Allison if she would be open to this. I could see the love for one another that they both held, there was this karmic magnetism that happens when there is still a relevance of exchange remaining in a pairing.
We explored polyamory for about six months together until January where our dynamics started to shift. In Egypt, on the Spring Equinox of 2018 while meditating in the Great Pyramid. I had a vision of a past life where I was Bentinho’s sister. It all started to become clear, we decided to officially be friends and unified allies on this mission to forge this New Earth.
I have learned first hand through direct experience about self-sourced sacred sexuality, how to be the source of love and how to have relationships that connect you to your mission. I have integrated deep information about about the balance of masculine and feminine energies within and how to live a life directed by your hearts compass. Through many different relational dynamics and many years of esoteric oracle-seeing and study. I work with awakening beings to live a source-full, purpose-filled life, to have deeper and more heart connective relationships to yourself and others.
As a Transformational Guide, I support the opening of the souls of star-seeded visionaries and wanderers to catalyse their life into heart felt vibrant living. Through my writing, though retreats and one on one coaching. I am here as a support to the beings who want to make a difference by the simple interactions we have everyday.
I am here to help strip you naked back to innocence, to lead you back to your heart compass and blaze a trail by your side.